Gender, Sexuality and Culture, University of Manchester
Most adult children of toxic parents grow up feeling tremendous confusion about what love means and how it’s supposed to feel. Their parents did extremely unloving things to them in the name of love. They came to understand love as something chaotic, dramatic, confusing, and often painful—something they had to give up their own dreams and desires for. Obviously, that’s not what love is all about.
Loving behavior doesn’t grind you down, keep you off balance, or create feelings of self-hatred. Love doesn’t hurt, it feels good. Loving behavior nourishes your emotional well-being. When someone is being loving to you, you feel accepted, cared for, valued, and respected. Genuine love creates feelings of warmth, pleasure, safety, stability, and inner peace.
Parent of a female teen whose school banned leggings
#yesallwomen have a right to an education without fashion policing by sexist administrators
^ this, tho… the message in these ridiculous dress codes remains “boys deserve an undistracted education, and you-GIRL-are a distraction… and your education comes second. You should be grateful, anyway… it’s really more than you deserve.” and i actually am not going to repeat how it reinforces rape culture because really, i’m just so damn tired of the messages we send young women about being nothing more than an accesory in a man’s life… fuck that. and fuck awful myopic dress codes… (via ginandbird)
This parent is right. The school is sending a message that girls’ clothes are supposed to distract boys; that boys can use them as an excuse, that girls when assaulted should blame themselves because they must have worn the wrong thing, because their clothes made them unfit to mingle with their peers. Have I got that right? (rhetorical)